can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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