Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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