I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
