Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Randomize
