Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
