You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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