whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
