Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
