the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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