Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I love you.
Bad choice
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
