So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
