you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
