moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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