"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
