I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
