just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
