chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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