Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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