dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Mom said you looked used
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
