A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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