just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
