just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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