Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
