I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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