Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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