if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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