Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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