well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
