I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
