she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
