Having a random hookup so left but love u
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
