can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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