cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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