Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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