:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
