the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
