Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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