she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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