When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
