It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
