I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
