Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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