are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
