He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
