He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
