SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
