apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
