yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.