well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.