I got chris browned last night
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.