You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i love accidental penises.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.