His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
