apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
