i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize