i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
