Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
