did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
What a dumb baby whore.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
