Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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