dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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