Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
