I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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