Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
