normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
