Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
false alarm. still invincible.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
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