how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
