Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
