My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
