Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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