Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
